he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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