Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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