They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
