Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
