what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
