there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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