i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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