her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
