this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
