Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
