i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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