Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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