Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
try to milk me bitch
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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