I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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