we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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