You're completely useless in the revolution.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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