I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
