I bet he comes in French.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
