i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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