I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
