Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
