Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
