Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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