Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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