She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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