I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
