My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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