I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
