I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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