I must be too annoying 4 u.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
