Non-Jews are for practice
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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