The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
