I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
