I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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