If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
