Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
