ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
