At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just high enough for therapy.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
