ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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