Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
bring money and cleavage
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We are all done wearing pants today
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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