Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
