I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
