she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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