It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
