My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
she smelled like a LAN party
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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