I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Send help, water and tortillas.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
