Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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