The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
