I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
