So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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