Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
