so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
